Jemal.co Posts

Bike Touring with Artificial Intelligence

Thu, 07 Aug 2025 00:00:00 EDT

Last year, Shelley and I took a week in October to do a little bike touring. Between Pittsburgh, PA and Washington, DC there’s a pair of paths that span 333 miles of relatively flat biking with a number of nice places to stay, eat, or get a bike repaired along the way. It’s the Great Allegheny Passage, a former railroad converted to a gravel trail, and the C&O Towpath, a trail that ran along the C&O Canal which is a combination of dirt and gravel. Basically the whole route is off-road and away from…

Gran Fondo Hincapie

Sun, 01 Jun 2025 00:00:00 EDT

I’m not sure how or when, but late last year I read about a cycling event that seemed right up my alley: an 82-mile road race in the hills of Pennsylvania’s Lehigh Valley. It’s a terrain very similar to what I ride regularly in Maryland, a distance I’m very comfortable with, and a low-stakes way to test myself in my first ever athletic contest outside of gym class.

I did what I always do: overdo it. Beginning in January, I started doing more intervals, more sprints, more climbs, and longer distances…

Very Long Term Health Mistakes

Tue, 01 Apr 2025 00:00:00 EDT

For my 24th birthday in 1998, a dear friend gave me a fancy bottle of Bushmills Irish Whiskey. Sadly, that was a Thursday and I had an early start on Friday, so I put it aside for the evening. But on Friday afternoon my girlfriend Kellie came over, and I couldn't wait to give it a try.

I grabbed the bottle and a glass and decided to have it on the rocks. I had drunk a lot by age 23, even among my military peers, but I wasn't that into whiskey yet, and I thought some ice might take the edge off things…

The Vision Thing

Mon, 31 Mar 2025 00:00:00 EDT

One Saturday afternoon in March of 2023, I was sitting on the couch reading comic books. Back then I was buying around 30 a week, and reading them took up a lot of my leisure time and leisure budget. Over the course of the afternoon my left eye started feeling weird, by which I mean I could feel something. It's weird that unless something's wrong, you never really feel anything with your eyes, right? After a few hours it progressed to actual pain, and I went to look at my eye in the mirror.

Friends…

Serving Google Fonts in Faster, Privacy-Preserving Way

Mon, 24 Mar 2025 00:00:00 EDT

I use a web font on my site, and I love it. Atkinson Hyperlegible was designed by the Braille Institute, and while it isn't the most beautiful typeface, it's distinctive, handsome, and designed to be easy to read, especially for people with vision problems. I talked about doing this a while ago, but I never bothered to post the solution. So let's dig in!

First off: I know what you're thinking. "Let's just go to Google Fonts, search for the font, pick the weight, and add their code snippets." And…

Lessons from my Mother

Mon, 24 Feb 2025 00:00:00 EST

After her funeral yesterday, my family spent this morning sitting around telling stories about my mom. She was an award-winning poet, an expert quilter and a woman of faith who, though humble to a fault, was smart, talented and incredibly generous to everyone she met. I told my family a story that they’d never heard, and I’ve rarely told anyone while she was alive, but I think it’s worth telling.

Patricia Christine Cole was born in 1949, an early Baby Boomer. She grew up Southern Baptist, her mother…

The Problem with "E-bikes"

Mon, 17 Feb 2025 00:00:00 EST

Depending on your point of view, e-bikes are either:

A revolution in transportation that will remake our cities and empower people to go farther and do more with cheap, clean technology while getting healthier and happier.

Or they might be:

A menace to cars, cyclists and pedestrians alike that need to be regulated out of existence before they kill again.

But of course, they’re neither. Or maybe both. Confused?

That’s not your fault, and it’s not my fault either. The problem isn’t technological…

Cops Are the Reason I Get Excused from Jury Duty

Mon, 27 Jan 2025 00:00:00 EST

The last few times I've been called for jury duty at the Baltimore City Circuit Court, I haven't made it past the voir dire. What happens is:

They ask if anyone would not believe the testimony of a witness because they are a police officer.
I raise my hand, and somebody notes who I am.
I later go before the judge and lawyers for the defense and prosecution and they ask for an explanation.
I give them my explanation.
The judge sends me home.

[The answer I give is a little abbreviated, because…

I Guess This Blog Has Joined the War on Cars

Thu, 23 Jan 2025 00:00:00 EST

Last week on a three-person group ride, we rolled up slowly to a busy 4-way stop, ride leader in front, me in back, each of us about 4-5 feet apart. When it was our turn, we all sped up to go through the intersection together. A guy to our left in a pickup truck rolled down his window to shout at us as he sped through the intersection, narrowly avoiding hitting me: “It’s called a stop sign for a reason!”

I have some thoughts I wish I could have shared with him:

Yes, and it's because it has “STOP…

2024 End of Year Bike Wrap-up

Tue, 31 Dec 2024 00:00:00 EST

As you'll remember, if you were one of the 3 people to read my post on my first year back on the bike, I spent a lot of time between May 2023 and April 2024 getting in shape and trying to be a fast cyclist. This post is about the rest of 2024 and how the year shaped up for me.

Injury

I spent most of May and June basically off the bike. I thought when I posted my last wrap-up that my knee had been "tweaked" a little, but it turned out to be a pretty bad strain of my patellar tendon. I was getting…

A Year of Cycling

Mon, 29 Apr 2024 00:00:00 EDT

Jemal Goes Electric

In the spring of 2022, my wife Shelley decided that she wanted to get back into cycling, if only for her commute. She works in DC, and takes the train one or more days each week, and driving to the train, paying for parking, and then walking to her office was a bit of a slog. She ordered a folding e-bike that she could take on the train, and has been a happy bi-modal commuter ever since.

By the fall of 2022, I was getting very jealous of her many bike rides. I grew up on bikes…

ChatGPT Isn't Intelligent Now and Never Can Be

Tue, 07 Mar 2023 00:00:00 EST

When I read the discussions of ChatGPT going around, I find myself thinking of Kurt Vonnegut's novel Hocus Pocus. The protagonist, a professor at a school for unpromising kids from rich families, finds a bunch of perpetual motion machines in an attic, and puts them on display in the library with a plaque that reads: "The Complicated Futility of Ignorance." The parents complain, because maybe some of these could be made to work! They seem pretty close to perpetual!

The fact that perpetual motion…

Google's Core Web Vitals Reflect Google's Needs, Not Yours

Thu, 23 Dec 2021 00:00:00 EST

This past summer I wrote a blog post for my employer about Google's Core Web Vitals initiatives as a primer for our clients about what the metrics are, what they mean for individual sites, and how much site owners and maintainers should worry about them. The answer to that last one is: not that much. You can read the post for all the details, but my point was that this is one tiny factor among many that affect your search rankings, and sweating that more than accessibility, structured data or great…

Stop Saying Superman is Boring

Fri, 25 Mar 2016 00:00:00 EDT

As long-time Jemal-watchers are probably aware, I read a lot of comics. I have thousands of single issues in my basement and have read thousands more. I’m not the biggest comics fan by a long shot, but it’s safe to say I’ve read, thought about and enjoyed more comics than most people. I’ve given away more comics than the average person has read. And let’s not even think about how much I’ve spent.

With that said, I’m also not the world’s biggest Superman fan, but I’ve read quite a few Superman comics…

An Open Letter to Apple

Wed, 06 Nov 2013 00:00:00 EST

I know it doesn’t do any good, and I know that it’s a tired format, so this “open letter” is just what I sent to Apple duplicated here on the web. I’ll add any responses that I get from Apple to this post (if I can figure out how). You can also submit a complaint to the people running the iTunes store.

UPDATE: I got the weirdest letter back from an Apple rep that clearly didn’t read what I wrote. Not sure what I really expected.

Title: Comixology In-App Purchase

Product : iTunes Store

Support…

New Minimum

Thu, 08 Aug 2013 00:00:00 EDT

The news has been full of stories about people behaving badly. This isn’t really surprising, as the primary function of news is making sure that your brain, evolved to deal with a social group the size of a wandering band of hunter-gatherers, is aware of every heinous act perpetrated anywhere on earth. While you go about your days struggling to deal with almost maddening levels of tension about your family, career and your awful friends-of-friends on Facebook, journalists around the world file stories…

Talking in Movies

Thu, 08 Aug 2013 00:00:00 EDT

Apropos of the discussion of distraction-full or distraction-free movie-going, I present a short list of memorable times that I’ve talked during a movie:

Independence Day (1996): I went to see Independence Day not on opening day, but pretty close to it. I went with my then-roommate who was a huge fan of big Hollywood movies. When Randy Quaid’s daughter’s boyfriend says the line, “This could be our last night on Earth. You don’t want to die a virgin, do you?” he and I both turned to each other and…

Comic Starting Points

Tue, 07 May 2013 00:00:00 EDT

A friend wrote to me today asking what I could recommend for her teenage daughter who has shown an interest in comics. Here’s part of what I sent her:

Anybody curious about Batman should read “Batman: Year One” - Frank Miller basically creates the modern Batman, as well as the modern take on superheroes in one origin story. New readers coming to Spider-Man should check out “Ultimate Spider-Man” which starts from the beginning and is both funny and exciting. I don’t read a lot of Superman…

Thoughts on Gun Control

Thu, 21 Mar 2013 00:00:00 EDT

I’ve never owned a gun. I’ve never wanted or needed to own a gun. And more than ever, I don’t want you to own a gun either.

That’s not to say that I haven’t been around guns. I grew up in the rural midwest where hunting was more common than bingo. My elementary school required all sixth graders to pass a hunter safety course, a life-saving course, and a marksmanship test to graduate. At the tender age of 11, I bullseye’d 15/20 with a bolt-action .22 rifle, and went 3 for 3 shooting skeet…

Support the Maryland Food Bank

Thu, 08 Nov 2012 00:00:00 EST

My employer is running a fun contest called “Penny Wars” this month to get people to contribute money to the Maryland Food Bank. The way it works is that we have 3 big empty water jugs assigned to 3 teams. Any coins put into a jug count towards that team’s total, and any bills count against them. One thin dollar bill undoes the work of 100 pennies, but all the money goes to a good cause.

Here’s part of the letter I sent out to my team to get them fired up:

I am incredibly excited about…

Embarrassing Origin Stories

Thu, 26 Jul 2012 00:00:00 EDT

[Note: much of this post can be inferred from a long string of tweets I made. Hopefully this will still be interesting.]

My family went out to Wisconsin this past month to visit my parents. The trip had a number of wonderful moments—almost getting in a fight at Cedar Point will remain a high point for me—but one of the great things was that my folks had found and preserved a couple of boxes of comic books for me.

I peeked inside while we were there, but I realized that I needed time and attention…

The Perils of Forcefulness

Sat, 02 Jun 2012 00:00:00 EDT

Last Tuesday I reported for jury duty at the circuit court of Baltimore hoping that I’d get an early release. I had a lot going on at work, and I’ve heard the same horror stories as anyone else about the drudgery of jury duty. I won’t bore you with the bureaucratic process that led to my selection, but it felt a bit like Boba Fett sliding into the Sarlacc pit: tedious, inevitable and embarrassing.

The case was a murder trial, and for a variety of reasons, I don’t really want to talk about…

Nonsense

Tue, 06 Mar 2012 00:00:00 EST

This morning I was watching a video that a friend sent me on my iPhone as I walked around my house. As I wandered into the dark kitchen, I hesitated to turn the lights on—I just stood there for a few seconds with my hand on the switch. And then I realized why I was standing in the dark: because I wanted to hear better.

When I became aware of what I was thinking I was shocked! How could I be so crazy? How could I think something so stupid?

And then it occurred to me that this was actually a pretty…

The Devils of Our Better Nature

Sun, 08 Jan 2012 00:00:00 EST

I’ve always liked getting into arguments. And I don’t mean debates, I mean arguments. Knock-down, drag-out, no-holds-barred shouting matches. Carefully weighing merits and finding common ground on the important issues of whatever are not things I enjoy. It’s a little juvenile, I admit, but what I like is proving people wrong.

Of course, we all like the feeling of being right. I think it’s pretty well established that the most exciting emotion for most people - way beyond love, lust or hate…

Keeping an Open Vest

Thu, 29 Dec 2011 00:00:00 EST

I know, I know, big deal. Lots of people buy vests. They sell them right along all the rest of the outerwear. Throughout the fall and spring, you can see people all over the place wearing them. My local mall is practically wall-to-wall vests this time of year. (Mostly North Face.)

The difference is that the majority of those people haven’t been saying that vests are a terrible idea for the last 20 years.

Why? Well, where does your body get cold? Or more importantly, where do you notice that…

How I Got This Name

Mon, 12 Dec 2011 00:00:00 EST

I spend a lot of time explaining my name to people. Part of that comes from having a name as unusual as Jemaleddin Sasha David Cole, and part of it is that I’m a pretty approachable person. I have a hard time going grocery shopping alone without being asked to get something heavy or on a high shelf into an old woman’s shopping cart. People are always asking me for directions, even when I’m walking around looking puzzled by a tourist map. But most of it is that I have a better story than most people…

A Brief Message on Password Security

Mon, 28 Nov 2011 00:00:00 EST

…and a feature request.

In this spirit of this epic cartoon from XKCD comes this. Randall pointed out even the password you think is super-secure that you use for your bank is pretty easy for computers to crack and gives some advice on what you should be doing instead. Make Me a Password is an implementation of that idea in the form of a single-serving website.

In other words: instead of using a password like, “Pa$sW0rD!”, use something like “Underinsured Cauldrons” and you’ll be safer…

Hi again

Thu, 24 Nov 2011 00:00:00 EST

If you’re reading this, I’ve set up another blog on another domain. What was wrong with the old ones? Nothing, really. They didn’t do anything wrong. It was me, not them.

My old blog had entries going back to times when my life was very different. And while I don’t have any negative feelings about those days, it was hard to overcome the emotional baggage that all those entries brought with them and actually do any writing. My Tumblr site was fine, but nobody really seemed interested in …

Adventures in Dating, Pt. 3

Tue, 06 Jan 2009 00:00:00 EST

So we’ve covered the failures of computer dating pretty well: hateful algorithms that match you with the exact opposite of what you were looking for, and boilerplate come-ons that don’t exactly seem heartfelt. What about successes?

After experimenting with Match and eHarmony I began to despair. Would I only meet conservatives and robots on the Internet? I was also disappointed when I tried PlentyOfFish, and worried that free sites would only get you what you paid for. I’m not saying that everyone…

Adventures in Dating, Pt. 2

Wed, 24 Sep 2008 00:00:00 EDT

Further details about how computers suck, especially when they pretend to be human:

I don’t think the people eHarmony.com matched me with are even real. Some selections from the suggestions they emailed me (emphasis mine):

Kim (Alexandria): It’s important for me to make new friends, and to keep physically fit. amy (Abingdon): It’s important for me to be in settings where I will meet new people, and to keep physically fit. Amy (Baltimore): It’s important for me to create romance in a relationship…

Adventures in Dating, Pt. 1

Mon, 22 Sep 2008 00:00:00 EDT

So here’s a little story about how computers suck:

As some of you know, I’m the kind of person who likes to agonize about things for 9 months before doing anything about them. Buying a car? Gotta research, gotta test drive, gotta agonize. Getting a loan? More agonizing. But what you may also know is that I’m also a multitasker.

So I figured that I wasn’t planning on even thinking about the concept of dating until December or later. I didn’t think you should go on a date when all of your stories…

Untold Tales

Sat, 28 Apr 2007 00:00:00 EDT

So I have all these stories that I tell all the time, and it occurs to me that I’ve never blogged them. So here’s the first of what might end up being a series.

A while back I was carrying Jared into his bedroom to put him to bed. He was sort of sitting on my hips facing me and rocking back and forth. Right as we went through the door he leaned way over to his right and smacked the back of his head on the door frame. I pulled him upright and set him down on the bed saying, “Oh Jared! I’m sorry I…